I Absolutely Raise a Cock

Name: I Absolutely Raise a Cock
Brand: Farmhouse Hobbies
Price: 35.0 USD
Availability: InStock

$35.00 USD

Only, 1 item is in stock!

Farm humor without the farming. This tee brings bold barnyard sarcasm with a comfy fit for folks who know exactly what they are raising and are not shy about it.

Shipping Policy:

We currently ship to the lower 48 states only.
Orders are typically processed and shipped within 7-10 business days. Expedited options are available for an additional cost.
Standard shipping is free with all orders.
Expedited shipping options are available for an additional cost.
We do not accept returns, exchanges or cancellations on any order. All sales are final. Please contact us with any issues with your order.

We stand behind our work like it's family. If something's wrong because we messed up, we'll fix it — no drama, no excuses. Just shoot us photos and your order number within 48 hours of delivery and we'll make it right.

What we won't be covering, though:
Carrier acting up? Once your order ships, we're not able to control what USPS/UPS does with it. You will need to file a claim with the carrier.

Adult Tees | Youth/Toddler | Long Sleeve | Crews/Hoodies | Tanks

Men's / Unisex Adult Tees

All measurements taken flat (side to side) unless noted — double the chest width for full circumference.

Gildan 5000 (Classic Tee)

Size	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Chest (in)	18	20	22	24	26	28
Length (in)	28	29	30	31	32	33

Gildan 64000 (Softstyle)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
Chest (in)	16	18	20	22	24	26	28	30	32
Length (in)	27	28	29.25	30.25	31.25	32.5	33.5	34.5	35

Gildan 64000CVC (Softstyle CVC)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL
Chest (in)	16	18	20	22	24	26	28	30
Length (in)	27	28	29	30	31	32	33	34

Bella+Canvas 3001 (Unisex Jersey Tee)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Chest (in)	16.5	18	20	22	24	26	28
Length (in)	27	28	29	30	31	32	33

Next Level 6010 (Unisex Triblend Tee)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Chest (in)	16.75	18.25	19.75	21.25	22.75	24.75	26.75
Length (in)	26.5	27.5	28.5	29.5	30.5	31.5	32.5

Next Level 6051 (3/4 Raglan Tee)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Chest (in)	17.5	19	20.5	22	24	26	28
Length (in)	27.75	28.75	29.75	30.75	31.75	32.75	33.75

Jerzees 601RR (3/4 Raglan Baseball Tee)

Size	S	M
Chest (in)	18	20
Length (in)	28	29

Only offered in S/M by the manufacturer — not a data gap, that's the full range.

Gildan 64000L (Women's Softstyle Tee)

Size	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Chest (in)	17	19	21	23	25	27
Length (in)	25.5	26	27	28	28.5	29

LAT 3537 (Women's Football V-Neck Tee)

Size	S	M	L	XL	2XL
Chest (in)	18	19	21	23	25
Length (in)	25	26	27	28	29.5

All measurements ±1" per manufacturer tolerance.

Youth / Toddler

All measurements laid flat. Kids' garments run small — when between sizes, size up.

Gildan 64000B (Youth Softstyle Tee)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL
Numerical	4	6-8	10-12	14-16	18-20
Chest (in)	14	16	17	18	19
Length (in)	18	20.5	22	23.5	25

Port & Co PC54Y (Youth Core Cotton Tee)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL
Numerical	4/5	6/8	10/12	14/16	18/20
Chest (in)	14	16	17	18	19
Length (in)	—	21	23	25	27

Next Level 6310 (Youth Triblend Tee)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL
Numerical	4-5	6-7	8	10-12	14-16
Chest (in)	14	15.5	17	18.5	20
Length (in)	19	20.5	22	23.5	25

Gildan 5400B (Youth Long Sleeve)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL
Numerical	4	6-8	10-12	14-16	18-20
Chest (in)	16	17	18	19	20
Length (in)	20.5	22	23.5	25	26.5

Augusta 4421 (Youth 3/4 Sleeve Baseball Jersey)

Size	S	M	L
Chest circumference (in)	31	33	35
Length (in)	24	26	29.5

Chest here is full circumference, not laid-flat width like the others.

Bella+Canvas 3001T (Toddler Jersey Tee)

Size	2T	3T	4T	5T
Chest (in)	12	13	14	15
Length (in)	15.5	16.5	17.5	18.5

Bella+Canvas 3200T (Toddler 3/4 Sleeve Baseball Tee)

Size	2T	3T	4T	5T
Chest (in)	11.75	12.75	13.75	14.75
Length (in)	16	17	18	19

Bella+Canvas 3413T (Toddler Triblend Tee)

Size	2T	3T	4T	5T
Chest (in)	12	13	14	15
Length (in)	15.5	16.5	17.5	18.5

Bella+Canvas 100B (Infant One Piece)

Size	0/3 mo	3/6 mo	6/12 mo	12/18 mo	18/24 mo
Chest (in)	9.375	9.875	10.375	10.875	10.875
Length, back (in)	—	17.75	19.5	20.25	21.375

Rabbit Skins 3321 (Toddler Fine Jersey Tee)

Size	2T	3T	4T	5/6	7
Chest (in)	12	13	14	15	16
Length (in)	15.5	16.5	17.5	18.5	19.5

Rabbit Skins 3302 (Toddler Long Sleeve Tee)

Size	2T	3T	4T	5/6
Chest (in)	13	14	15	16
Length (in)	15.5	16.5	17.5	18.5

Rabbit Skins 3330 (Toddler 3/4 Sleeve Baseball Tee)

Size	2T	3T	4T	5/6
Chest (in)	12	13	14	15
Length (in)	16	17	18	19

All toddler/youth measurements laid flat unless noted.

Long Sleeve

All measurements laid flat (side to side) unless noted.

Port & Co PC61LS / PC54LS (Long Sleeve Essential Tees)

Size	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL
Chest (in)	18	20	22	24	26	28	30
Length (in)	28	29	30	31	32	33	34

PC61LS and PC54LS share identical sizing.

Jerzees 363L (Classics Long Sleeve Tee)

Size	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Chest (in)	18	20	22	24	26	28
Length (in)	28	29	30	31	32	33

Jerzees 29LSR (Dri-Power 50/50 Long Sleeve Tee)

Size	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Chest (in)	18	20	22	24	26	28
Length (in)	28	29	30	31	32	33

Next Level 6211 (Unisex CVC Long Sleeve Tee)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Chest (in)	20	21.5	23	24.5	26.5	28.5	30.5
Length (in)	26	27	28	29	29.75	30.25	30.75

Gildan 8400 (DryBlend 50/50 Long Sleeve Tee)

Size	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Chest (in)	18	20	22	24	26	28
Length (in)	28	29	30	31	32	33

Gildan 2400 (Ultra Cotton Long Sleeve Tee)

Size	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
Chest (in)	18	20	22	24	26	28	30	32
Length (in)	28	29	30	31	32	33	34	35

Bella+Canvas 3501 (Unisex Jersey Long Sleeve Tee)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL
Chest (in)	16.5	18	20	22	24	26	28	30
Length (in)	27	28	29	30	31	32	33	34

Bella+Canvas 3501CVC (Heather CVC Long Sleeve Tee)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Chest (in)	16.5	18	20	22	24	26	28
Length (in)	27	28	29	30	31	32	33

American Apparel 1304 (Heavyweight Cotton Long Sleeve Tee)

Size	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Chest (in)	18	20	22	24	26	28
Length (in)	26.5	28.5	30.5	31.5	35.5	33.5

Note: the 2XL/3XL length figures above (35.5 then 33.5) come directly from the manufacturer's own spec sheet and look reversed — worth double-checking against a physical sample before publishing if that matters for your listing.

All measurements ±1" per manufacturer tolerance.

Crewnecks / Hoodies

All measurements laid flat (side to side) unless noted.

Gildan 18000 (Heavy Blend Crewneck)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
Chest (in)	18	20	22	24	26	28	30	32	34
Length (in)	26	27	28	29	30	31	32	33	34

Gildan 18500 (Heavy Blend Hoodie)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
Chest (in)	18	20	22	24	26	28	30	32	34
Length (in)	26	27	28	29	30	31	32	33	34

Gildan SF000 (Softstyle Midweight Crewneck)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL
Chest (in)	18	20	22	24	26	28	30	32
Length (in)	27	28	29	30	31	32	33	34

Jerzees 562MR (NuBlend Crewneck) — also covers "562M"

Size	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
Chest (in)	20	22	24	26	28	30	32	34
Length (in)	27	28	29	30	31	32	33	34

Jerzees 996MR (NuBlend Hoodie)

Size	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
Chest (in)	20	22	24	26	28	30	32	34
Length (in)	27	28	29	30	31	32	33	34

Comfort Colors 1466 (Garment-Dyed Lightweight Crewneck)

Size	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Chest (in)	20	22	24	26	28	30
Length (in)	27	28	29	30	31	32

District DM139 (Perfect Tri Long Sleeve Hoodie)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL
Chest (in)	19	20	21	22.5	24	25.5	27.5	29.5
Length (in)	27.5	28.5	29.5	30.5	31.5	32.5	33	33.5

Independent Trading SS3000 (Midweight Crewneck)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL	5XL
Chest (in)	19	20.5	22	23.5	25	26.5	28	29.5	31
Length (in)	25	26.5	28	29.5	31	32.5	34	35.5	37

Independent Trading PRM3500 (Midweight Pigment-Dyed Crewneck)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL
Chest (in)	19	20	22	23.5	25.5	27	28
Length (in)	26	27	28	29	30	31	32

Independent Trading PRM2000 (Women's California Wave Wash Crewneck)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL
Chest (in)	19	20	21	22	23	24
Length (in)	23	24	25	26	27	28

Independent Trading PRM2500 (Women's California Wave Wash Hoodie)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL
Chest (in)	19	20	21	22	23	24
Length (in)	26	27	28	29	30	31

Gildan 18000B (Youth Heavy Blend Crewneck)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL
Numerical	4	6-8	10-12	14-16	18-20
Chest (in)	16	17	18	19	20
Length (in)	19.75	21.25	22.5	24	25.5

Gildan 18500B (Youth Heavy Blend Hoodie)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL
Numerical	4	6-8	10-12	14-16	18-20
Chest (in)	16	17	18	19	20
Length (in)	19.75	21.25	22.5	24	25.5

All measurements ±1" per manufacturer tolerance.

Tanks

Measurement type (chest vs. bust) is noted per style — check which applies before comparing across brands.

Next Level 1533 (Women's Ideal Racerback Tank)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL
Chest (in, flat)	14	15	16	17	18	19
Length (in)	26.75	27.375	28	28.625	29.25	29.5

Next Level 6733 (Women's Triblend Racerback Tank)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL
Chest (in, flat)	15	16	17	18	19.5	21
Length (in)	25.875	26.5	27.125	27.75	28.375	29

Gildan 64200L (Women's Softstyle Tank)

Size	S	M	L	XL	2XL
Chest (in, flat)	17	18	19.5	20.5	23
Length (in)	25	26	27	27.75	28.25

District DT153 (Women's Perfect Tri Muscle Tank)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL
Bust (in, flat)	15.25	16.25	17.25	18.75	20.25	21.75	23.75	25.75
Length, back (in)	25.5	26	26.5	27	27.5	28	28.5	29

District DT6302 (Women's V.I.T. Racerback Tank)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL
Bust (in, flat)	16	17	18	19.5	21	22.5	24.5	26.5
Length, front (in)	26.5	27	27.5	28	28.5	29	29.5	30

Allmade AL2019 (Unisex Tri-Blend Tank)

Size	XS	S	M	L	XL	2XL	3XL	4XL
Chest (in, flat)	16.5	18	19.5	21	22.5	24	26	28
Length (in)	27	28	29	30	31	32	32.5	33

All measurements ±1" per manufacturer tolerance.

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I Absolutely Raise a Cock

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